I think my biggest problem besides having PTSD already.. when I lay down to try to go to sleep and its quiet the demons take hold. They whisper in my ear the harshness that I already feel but stamp down when I'm conscience. They remind me of things I don't want to remember which plays on me because they go along with the harsh truth I feel right now. Things in my past.. things that were done to me, were said to me, that broke me physically, emotionally and mentally. The things I've tried so hard to over come, to hide, to not feel. They have been hitting me hard and I'm finding myself allowing others to make me feel like that broken and torn rag doll again. I don't know how to fight the demons anymore. I don't know if I'm just so exhausted from the pain I'm in physically that I don't have any fight left? I just don't know.
