November 18, 2015
Should have been a day of Birthday celebrations for my Mother-in-Law. It was not a day of celebrations. It will never be a day of celebrations ever again for my Mother-in-Law. All she will ever think of on November 18 is the death of her mother. It is so heartbreaking. We are all sadden at the loss of Mom-mom Florence but none as much as my Mother-in-Law.
Maxine's whole world has been taking care of her mother since the death of her father 16 year ago. My Parent-in-Laws gave up their home to move in with Mom-mom Florence so that she would be more comfortable. So that she would not have had to be up-heaved after the loss of her husband. My Mother-in-Law gave up everything to be there for her mother. I don't know many people that would have done that. Everything she did she did with the thought of Mom-mom and not herself or her husband. She fixed dinners that were geared around what Mom-mom wanted. They watch tv programs that Mom-mom wanted. They made plans around what was best for Mom-mom never themselves for 16 years.
We all new Mom-mom was getting worse but for 16 years she always seemed to rebounded when we thought she would not make it much longer. She has been in and out of the hospital several times over the last few months. We could see she was getting weaker. She was deteriorating in front of our eyes. She was sleeping more and not as talkative. She was worn out from fighting.
For me it was getting hard to see her...I know that sounds heartless. I am not trying to be heartless but I knew she was dying and I was having a hard time dealing with it. I do not deal with death very well.
My hubby and kids are taking it as well as they can. We have all had our moments of breakdowns and tears. I took the day off from work to be with them, to give them support as they need it. My daughter has been stressed out over her final year of college and work and everything else going on in her life. She did not get to say good bye or visit with her Great Mom-mom before she passed away...she is taking it very hard.
I am most concerned with my Mother-in-Law. I can not imagine the emotional pain she is in right now.
Now for the planning of the final good-byes.
Thursday, November 19, 2015
The fall..
Last I posted I was going out on a 10 day LOA...I ended up out of work for a month. Store was in worse condition when I returned. Mark had sent in two different Managers to help oversee my store while I was out. Finally my DM got to see first hand I was not the issue...or at least not totally the issue. Now there were 4 other Managers telling him who the issue truly was.
While I was out literally half my staff quit. Cashiers that had been working at the store for 5+ years quit. The entire replenishment team and several other key associates quit. They were afraid I wasn't coming back and they could not handle Chelsea any longer. The new Replenishment Mgr that Mark and Chelsea were so determined would be the greatest, previously my Pt CEM, had not made the headway that she should have. And had put her 2 week notice in. She was having conversations with Mark behind Chelsea's back. Informing Mark that she was not being able to do her job because Chelsea was consistently pulling her people or not scheduling her team or just generally setting her up to fail. This is same manager that had aligned with Chelsea against me to get the promotion in the first place. Who, once she was gone. we discovered had not been so above board on doing things to make it appear she was doing her job. She was not the right person for that position. I have no idea how much money she cost the store with the whole cases of merchandise she tossed, the hiding of merchandise because she did not want to set the features or the hours of wasted payroll she used to accomplish nothing but be in the store...
I was going to go into the whole long ass story of what has happened in the last month since I have been back from LOA but its not worth the energy....Chelsea has continued to live in her delusional world. I have had to rebuild my staff and place a new Replenishment Mgr all right before peak season all while on sever restrictions because of my knee. It has been extremely tough.
Most of the staff that Chelsea hired right before I returned have flamed out or will be soon. Kanina, the new Replenishment Manager, has been awesome. She works her ass off! We work well together which is a huge plus. Chelsea's last day as ASM is the day before Thanksgiving. Most of my staff is excited by that...I have no idea who Mark will be replacing her with. I have not heard anymore about my PIP/write up so I keep doing my best to get my store where it needs to be. I am schedule to have a total knee replacement Jan 4. How do you like that little wrap up?
While I was out literally half my staff quit. Cashiers that had been working at the store for 5+ years quit. The entire replenishment team and several other key associates quit. They were afraid I wasn't coming back and they could not handle Chelsea any longer. The new Replenishment Mgr that Mark and Chelsea were so determined would be the greatest, previously my Pt CEM, had not made the headway that she should have. And had put her 2 week notice in. She was having conversations with Mark behind Chelsea's back. Informing Mark that she was not being able to do her job because Chelsea was consistently pulling her people or not scheduling her team or just generally setting her up to fail. This is same manager that had aligned with Chelsea against me to get the promotion in the first place. Who, once she was gone. we discovered had not been so above board on doing things to make it appear she was doing her job. She was not the right person for that position. I have no idea how much money she cost the store with the whole cases of merchandise she tossed, the hiding of merchandise because she did not want to set the features or the hours of wasted payroll she used to accomplish nothing but be in the store...
I was going to go into the whole long ass story of what has happened in the last month since I have been back from LOA but its not worth the energy....Chelsea has continued to live in her delusional world. I have had to rebuild my staff and place a new Replenishment Mgr all right before peak season all while on sever restrictions because of my knee. It has been extremely tough.
Most of the staff that Chelsea hired right before I returned have flamed out or will be soon. Kanina, the new Replenishment Manager, has been awesome. She works her ass off! We work well together which is a huge plus. Chelsea's last day as ASM is the day before Thanksgiving. Most of my staff is excited by that...I have no idea who Mark will be replacing her with. I have not heard anymore about my PIP/write up so I keep doing my best to get my store where it needs to be. I am schedule to have a total knee replacement Jan 4. How do you like that little wrap up?
Thursday, August 27, 2015
Porch Dick
I smile every time I hear that term...Porch Dick. Its from the Walking Dead season 6. Anywho so the phrase has a meaning to me because I am a fan of the Walking Dead.
How do I put this in words??? My DM is a porch dick. He is all smiles to your face as he is screwing you behind your back. Don't expect him to tell you the truth about anything just what he thinks will get him in and out of the store the fastest. He never visits my store or if he does its a "fly by" as he is on his way to his summer house. He hasn't done a detailed walk in my store in months. When I ask him for help I get vague answers. Nothing I can really put into action.
Let me break the last couple of months down....
In May I lost my last ASM Holly. She had an emotional/mental break down. The more I pushed her to get results for her time the worst she got...this lead into inventory. Still with no presence from my DM.
A few weeks later we got a new ASM, Chelsea. She was a new ASMIT she had been with the company since April training in Ellicot City and Arundle Mills. She was suppose to be very good at recovery and getting tasks done. I was excited. I needed help. Trying to do it all on my own was getting impossible. I was so burned out.
She comes in and starts having meeting with the associates. Ok that a good start. But these meeting are 30-45 min...I know that does not sound to bad except it is during the busiest time of the day/week when her and the associate should be helping customers and I am not there. I then start hearing from the associates that I need to watch my back. Chelsea is telling everyone she is the boss and what she says overrides what I say?? I confronted her about it and she denies....here we go. I try to give her the benefit of doubt as long as she is getting results.
I make to do list and plan out workload task...they get ignored. I ask about it and get lied to. I bring it up to my DM I get blown off. I get frustrated and have to work even harder to try to keep a float. Thanks to the new ASM we are getting behind again, We were just about there during the DMs last visit before Holly flaked out. The stockroom was all but perfect finally--his words. We still had some fixtures to deal with but over all awesome. The new Repl Mgr Mitzi was doing well but needed to work on getting POGs completed in a more timely manner---I had been doing them and the DM told me to stop I was not to be doing them. We were having issues with the replen crew I was working on hiring new associates but the application were far and few between.
So lets fast forward some...Mitzi is put on a PIP because Chelsea and the DM say so. I do as I am told and in response Mitzi quits 2 weeks later... then all of a sudden my DM says I did not manage her right and lost her. No ownership that he and Chelsea made me put her on a PIP or that they had already, with out any thoughts from me, had replaced her with my Pt CEM. All this is done behind my back and when I called the DM about it I get blown off as usual. He agrees with Chelsea's opinion on this subject. I don't know why I didn't push back...why didn't I do something? At this point I am broken...I was second guessing myself.
Once Mitzi was gone and Sarah was taking over the Repl Mgr position we worked it out that Chelsea would train all the new Workload Support associates and I would concentrate on the Customer Service associates---and with doing this she would be in charge of all of the merchandising, freight flow, POGs and SISO. We talked to the DM he thought that was a great idea.
At this point Chelsea had been with our store since June. She still was not following any plans or to do list I was leaving for her. She was still doing whatever she deemed important. I tried talking to my DM... sometimes he seemed to be listening others he made excuses.
Our ZLP visited we didn't do as wonderful as we should have. I took notes and created and action plan for everyone. Needless to say Chelsea didn't find it important to complete. The Zone Auditor popped up a couple weeks later. That visit was worse. It was a horrible debacle. Huge! Failing an Audit is very bad in our company. Chelsea hid the whole time the Auditor was there. I was left to answer for my mistakes as well as hers. I took notes and discussed the issues with him. This was the day before my vacation....I stayed until close working on the game plan to fix the issues. I was told to take my vacation and we could work together to get a plan in place for the actions that need to be taken--this was Mark my DM.
While I was on vacation with Mark's approval I had my sister Store Managers visit the store to give Chelsea support. They got to see first hand what I have been going through. She once again was not following any of the Plans I had made for the week. She was doing her own thing and blowing payroll yet... at the same time leaving other managers with no help. My sister SM reported this back to Mark. They then got to see my next issue. He had expected them to go into my store and see Super Chelsea saving my store--I was the problem she was the answer. And when they reported back what she was really doing he had the nerve to get upset with them. He truly showed his cards to them at that point. It was a waste of their time.
I have been killing myself for months--putting my own health at jeopardy for what??
All of the SM and ASM were scheduled to attend a Cascade/Failed Audit meeting. Chelsea managed to have some half unbelievable event happen that kept her from making it to the meeting. The meeting was brutal. We were told that 7 stores failed 6 SM remain of those 7 and he doesn't see 2 lasting the next 30 days. Yep I am scared. I asked him for a side meeting afterwards--I wanted witnesses to me asking once again for help. He told me I can not hold Chelsea accountable for anything. My store was a horrible mess when she got there and none of this was her fault. He has been telling me off and on since he took over my district that he did not see what my last DM saw in me. He agreed to have a meeting with all my manager the following week to help me set up a plan to get us all on the right track. I wanted to show I am trying. I need his guidance--something I have not received yet.
The ride home with my sister SMs was full of conversations of wtf was that....they tried to encourage me on how I should go back to my store and proceed.
Mark did come for the meeting I ask for. The store was not where it should be. The meeting was not a 'lets work out a plan to get the store where it needs to be' meeting. It was pointing fingers at who isn't doing their job according to what Chelsea says. We were told that Chelsea was the final word. I was pretty much just a figure head at this point. The store was were it was because I allowed it to be....I am not allowed to hold Chelsea accountable for anything. She is Mark's associate I did not have any power over her. The more I tried to defend myself the worse it got. He belittled me and told me he had been giving me chances for the last 6 months and I all I have done is disappoint him. Again I was told he never saw in me the super star that I was suppose to be. Anyone could run a P3 store. I asked about being moved to another store maybe I wasn't the right manager for this store--he literally laughed at me. This is not first time I brought up moving to another store. He laughed at me again. So if he comes back in a week and I haven't made a massive improvement I will be put on a final write up and if the following week its not perfect I will be fired. Mind you I have never received so much as a verbal warning since being in this company...I have been struggling since I took this store over and have made it known, I have reached out countless times. He has thrown some hours at me and we have used those hour to get things done. But some of the stuff that is wrong is broken routines on the workload support teams--which Chelsea has been in charge of but I can not hold her accountable ...I am in an impossible situation.
Newest twist to all of this....because I have been working myself ragged my knee has flared up. I can bare walk on it. After two appointment with in 3 days I am out on LOA for 10 days or more. So what does these mean. When I get back from LOA can he fire me. Unless Chelsea does something she hasn't done so far and steps the fuck up I am screwed. I have had to put my career in her hands. Even if I had not gone out on LOA I still would have had to depend on her...
Enough for now--this is the most I have posted in forever. I needed to get it out. May have not been the right place to do it, Time for me to go ice my knee
How do I put this in words??? My DM is a porch dick. He is all smiles to your face as he is screwing you behind your back. Don't expect him to tell you the truth about anything just what he thinks will get him in and out of the store the fastest. He never visits my store or if he does its a "fly by" as he is on his way to his summer house. He hasn't done a detailed walk in my store in months. When I ask him for help I get vague answers. Nothing I can really put into action.
Let me break the last couple of months down....
In May I lost my last ASM Holly. She had an emotional/mental break down. The more I pushed her to get results for her time the worst she got...this lead into inventory. Still with no presence from my DM.
A few weeks later we got a new ASM, Chelsea. She was a new ASMIT she had been with the company since April training in Ellicot City and Arundle Mills. She was suppose to be very good at recovery and getting tasks done. I was excited. I needed help. Trying to do it all on my own was getting impossible. I was so burned out.
She comes in and starts having meeting with the associates. Ok that a good start. But these meeting are 30-45 min...I know that does not sound to bad except it is during the busiest time of the day/week when her and the associate should be helping customers and I am not there. I then start hearing from the associates that I need to watch my back. Chelsea is telling everyone she is the boss and what she says overrides what I say?? I confronted her about it and she denies....here we go. I try to give her the benefit of doubt as long as she is getting results.
I make to do list and plan out workload task...they get ignored. I ask about it and get lied to. I bring it up to my DM I get blown off. I get frustrated and have to work even harder to try to keep a float. Thanks to the new ASM we are getting behind again, We were just about there during the DMs last visit before Holly flaked out. The stockroom was all but perfect finally--his words. We still had some fixtures to deal with but over all awesome. The new Repl Mgr Mitzi was doing well but needed to work on getting POGs completed in a more timely manner---I had been doing them and the DM told me to stop I was not to be doing them. We were having issues with the replen crew I was working on hiring new associates but the application were far and few between.
So lets fast forward some...Mitzi is put on a PIP because Chelsea and the DM say so. I do as I am told and in response Mitzi quits 2 weeks later... then all of a sudden my DM says I did not manage her right and lost her. No ownership that he and Chelsea made me put her on a PIP or that they had already, with out any thoughts from me, had replaced her with my Pt CEM. All this is done behind my back and when I called the DM about it I get blown off as usual. He agrees with Chelsea's opinion on this subject. I don't know why I didn't push back...why didn't I do something? At this point I am broken...I was second guessing myself.
Once Mitzi was gone and Sarah was taking over the Repl Mgr position we worked it out that Chelsea would train all the new Workload Support associates and I would concentrate on the Customer Service associates---and with doing this she would be in charge of all of the merchandising, freight flow, POGs and SISO. We talked to the DM he thought that was a great idea.
At this point Chelsea had been with our store since June. She still was not following any plans or to do list I was leaving for her. She was still doing whatever she deemed important. I tried talking to my DM... sometimes he seemed to be listening others he made excuses.
Our ZLP visited we didn't do as wonderful as we should have. I took notes and created and action plan for everyone. Needless to say Chelsea didn't find it important to complete. The Zone Auditor popped up a couple weeks later. That visit was worse. It was a horrible debacle. Huge! Failing an Audit is very bad in our company. Chelsea hid the whole time the Auditor was there. I was left to answer for my mistakes as well as hers. I took notes and discussed the issues with him. This was the day before my vacation....I stayed until close working on the game plan to fix the issues. I was told to take my vacation and we could work together to get a plan in place for the actions that need to be taken--this was Mark my DM.
While I was on vacation with Mark's approval I had my sister Store Managers visit the store to give Chelsea support. They got to see first hand what I have been going through. She once again was not following any of the Plans I had made for the week. She was doing her own thing and blowing payroll yet... at the same time leaving other managers with no help. My sister SM reported this back to Mark. They then got to see my next issue. He had expected them to go into my store and see Super Chelsea saving my store--I was the problem she was the answer. And when they reported back what she was really doing he had the nerve to get upset with them. He truly showed his cards to them at that point. It was a waste of their time.
I have been killing myself for months--putting my own health at jeopardy for what??
All of the SM and ASM were scheduled to attend a Cascade/Failed Audit meeting. Chelsea managed to have some half unbelievable event happen that kept her from making it to the meeting. The meeting was brutal. We were told that 7 stores failed 6 SM remain of those 7 and he doesn't see 2 lasting the next 30 days. Yep I am scared. I asked him for a side meeting afterwards--I wanted witnesses to me asking once again for help. He told me I can not hold Chelsea accountable for anything. My store was a horrible mess when she got there and none of this was her fault. He has been telling me off and on since he took over my district that he did not see what my last DM saw in me. He agreed to have a meeting with all my manager the following week to help me set up a plan to get us all on the right track. I wanted to show I am trying. I need his guidance--something I have not received yet.
The ride home with my sister SMs was full of conversations of wtf was that....they tried to encourage me on how I should go back to my store and proceed.
Mark did come for the meeting I ask for. The store was not where it should be. The meeting was not a 'lets work out a plan to get the store where it needs to be' meeting. It was pointing fingers at who isn't doing their job according to what Chelsea says. We were told that Chelsea was the final word. I was pretty much just a figure head at this point. The store was were it was because I allowed it to be....I am not allowed to hold Chelsea accountable for anything. She is Mark's associate I did not have any power over her. The more I tried to defend myself the worse it got. He belittled me and told me he had been giving me chances for the last 6 months and I all I have done is disappoint him. Again I was told he never saw in me the super star that I was suppose to be. Anyone could run a P3 store. I asked about being moved to another store maybe I wasn't the right manager for this store--he literally laughed at me. This is not first time I brought up moving to another store. He laughed at me again. So if he comes back in a week and I haven't made a massive improvement I will be put on a final write up and if the following week its not perfect I will be fired. Mind you I have never received so much as a verbal warning since being in this company...I have been struggling since I took this store over and have made it known, I have reached out countless times. He has thrown some hours at me and we have used those hour to get things done. But some of the stuff that is wrong is broken routines on the workload support teams--which Chelsea has been in charge of but I can not hold her accountable ...I am in an impossible situation.
Newest twist to all of this....because I have been working myself ragged my knee has flared up. I can bare walk on it. After two appointment with in 3 days I am out on LOA for 10 days or more. So what does these mean. When I get back from LOA can he fire me. Unless Chelsea does something she hasn't done so far and steps the fuck up I am screwed. I have had to put my career in her hands. Even if I had not gone out on LOA I still would have had to depend on her...
Enough for now--this is the most I have posted in forever. I needed to get it out. May have not been the right place to do it, Time for me to go ice my knee
Friday, May 29, 2015
Really....
I haven't had much time to post. Life has been nothing but work work and work....
My relationship with my DM is still uncertain. My last visit with him was the best yet. I was able to have a candid conversation with him about my store, my assistant and what I am trying to accomplish. That was 2 weeks ago.
I shared my boss' expectations and reservations with my team. I was honest with them about who needed to step up. My ASM was not pulling her weight. She, of course, did not see it that way. As it usually goes the one that is doing the least work feels they are the hardest worker...
I feel so stupid for not seeing how she really was...I guess I was so desperate I allowed myself to have a blind eye. She honestly thought it wasn't a big deal to miss time---every Monday she had some kind of emergency that she thought was more important than her responsibilities at work. Everyone else except her saw the pattern, which is horrible. How can you hold your team accountable if your ASM isn't being accountable.
When I confronted her about her attendance she attempted to turn it back on me...I am heartless bitch that doesn't care about anything or anyone but work--I didn't give her the satisfaction of going back at her. It pissed me off--how many times have I covered her and did her work plus mine.
The more I need her the less she is there--the less she gets accomplished. Our New ZVP was due to visit a week ago. We all were pulling extra hours doing our best to be perfect for her visit--she on the other hand felt I was being unreasonable. She totally tried to screw us but our ZVP had to postpone her visit.
Remember I said every Monday she has some kind of personal catastrophic event that causes her to miss work--this past Monday (Memorial Day) she was scheduled a short shift (I scheduled myself a long shift to cover just in case). She comes in late...and asks me to have a conversation with her in the office. She got all teary eyed. She gave me her 2 week notice. Making her last day the first day of inventory---are you kidding me. She knows how important having a full staff for that. And that I was suppose to be taking a few much needed and deserved days off afterwards. Yep she is screwing me again. Ok well that sucks about the timing but I have to admit its probably the best for everyone.
I had made it know that I had Jury Duty starting Tuesday for 2 weeks...she calls Tuesday (which felt like Monday because of the Holiday) to say she has had a personal emergency and wasn't sure she could be in for her shift. I asked her to do what she needed to do but be at work as soon as she could. Again how dare I be so heartless. It doesn't matter that other people have lives or plans or that we have a store to get ready for inventory...needless to say I went in to work her shift for her lucky enough for her I did not have to report for jury duty.
She never called back to say she would not be in or thank you for covering for me AGAIN--for giving up your plans or kiss my ass nothing!
Wednesday she came in half and hour late...had a nasty attitude towards my other managers then lied to them saying I said she could leave early and left several hours early without walking with the inventory team leader that she had set an appointment with. All while I am out of contact at the court house.
That was the last time we have heard from her (today is Friday) after her being a NO Call No Show for over 4 hours and several phone calls from me her Husband finally text me....she once again has had another catastrophic event. She manage to get so excited at her son's graduation that her husband needed to take her to the hospital??? Really
So several days later and NO DAY off for me she is supposedly still in the hospital, which her own best friend had no clue about??
I have one more week of jury duty that leads into my stores inventory....omg and no ASM
Lets do this..
My relationship with my DM is still uncertain. My last visit with him was the best yet. I was able to have a candid conversation with him about my store, my assistant and what I am trying to accomplish. That was 2 weeks ago.
I shared my boss' expectations and reservations with my team. I was honest with them about who needed to step up. My ASM was not pulling her weight. She, of course, did not see it that way. As it usually goes the one that is doing the least work feels they are the hardest worker...
I feel so stupid for not seeing how she really was...I guess I was so desperate I allowed myself to have a blind eye. She honestly thought it wasn't a big deal to miss time---every Monday she had some kind of emergency that she thought was more important than her responsibilities at work. Everyone else except her saw the pattern, which is horrible. How can you hold your team accountable if your ASM isn't being accountable.
When I confronted her about her attendance she attempted to turn it back on me...I am heartless bitch that doesn't care about anything or anyone but work--I didn't give her the satisfaction of going back at her. It pissed me off--how many times have I covered her and did her work plus mine.
The more I need her the less she is there--the less she gets accomplished. Our New ZVP was due to visit a week ago. We all were pulling extra hours doing our best to be perfect for her visit--she on the other hand felt I was being unreasonable. She totally tried to screw us but our ZVP had to postpone her visit.
Remember I said every Monday she has some kind of personal catastrophic event that causes her to miss work--this past Monday (Memorial Day) she was scheduled a short shift (I scheduled myself a long shift to cover just in case). She comes in late...and asks me to have a conversation with her in the office. She got all teary eyed. She gave me her 2 week notice. Making her last day the first day of inventory---are you kidding me. She knows how important having a full staff for that. And that I was suppose to be taking a few much needed and deserved days off afterwards. Yep she is screwing me again. Ok well that sucks about the timing but I have to admit its probably the best for everyone.
I had made it know that I had Jury Duty starting Tuesday for 2 weeks...she calls Tuesday (which felt like Monday because of the Holiday) to say she has had a personal emergency and wasn't sure she could be in for her shift. I asked her to do what she needed to do but be at work as soon as she could. Again how dare I be so heartless. It doesn't matter that other people have lives or plans or that we have a store to get ready for inventory...needless to say I went in to work her shift for her lucky enough for her I did not have to report for jury duty.
She never called back to say she would not be in or thank you for covering for me AGAIN--for giving up your plans or kiss my ass nothing!
Wednesday she came in half and hour late...had a nasty attitude towards my other managers then lied to them saying I said she could leave early and left several hours early without walking with the inventory team leader that she had set an appointment with. All while I am out of contact at the court house.
That was the last time we have heard from her (today is Friday) after her being a NO Call No Show for over 4 hours and several phone calls from me her Husband finally text me....she once again has had another catastrophic event. She manage to get so excited at her son's graduation that her husband needed to take her to the hospital??? Really
So several days later and NO DAY off for me she is supposedly still in the hospital, which her own best friend had no clue about??
I have one more week of jury duty that leads into my stores inventory....omg and no ASM
Lets do this..
Thursday, April 16, 2015
When I think its getting better....
Annual Review went well...the new DM left my grade as my old DM had given. But added in his thoughts and ended with now I have to prove to him I have earned it. So it was a back-handed compliment I suppose.
I did feel better after his visit this time. I was able to terminate the manager that was the weakest link in my team. That was a step in the right direction. But now I get the pleasure of working 6-7 days a week to ensure everything is getting done.
I am not sure how I feel or what I should do next. I am exhausted mentally and physically. I want to do whats best for me, my family and my career. I make really good money but is it enough?
To be honest I am so jealous of my Sister and Mom right now. They just opened their own business. Its a family business. My younger sister and niece are involved. The Woman to Blame Coffee Room. I love seeing the pics of them getting ready for the grand opening and the daily pics since. I want what they have....I hate that I always find myself jealous of my sister. I know there is stress involved owning your own business but its theirs! Working towards a successful business and not cringing every time your DM sends out an email or comes for a visit.
I need balance! I need a new goal in life. I am not happy. I feel like I am waiting...waiting for my life to start. Waiting for something real to begin.
I did feel better after his visit this time. I was able to terminate the manager that was the weakest link in my team. That was a step in the right direction. But now I get the pleasure of working 6-7 days a week to ensure everything is getting done.
I am not sure how I feel or what I should do next. I am exhausted mentally and physically. I want to do whats best for me, my family and my career. I make really good money but is it enough?
To be honest I am so jealous of my Sister and Mom right now. They just opened their own business. Its a family business. My younger sister and niece are involved. The Woman to Blame Coffee Room. I love seeing the pics of them getting ready for the grand opening and the daily pics since. I want what they have....I hate that I always find myself jealous of my sister. I know there is stress involved owning your own business but its theirs! Working towards a successful business and not cringing every time your DM sends out an email or comes for a visit.
I need balance! I need a new goal in life. I am not happy. I feel like I am waiting...waiting for my life to start. Waiting for something real to begin.
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
And I thought I was stress before...
OMG I feel like I am losing my grip. Ok maybe not but I am stressed.
I am now in the position I don't know who I can rely on...every time I think I have someone I can finally put my trust in they FUCK me! So now what?
Time to regroup--turn in to that bitch my hubby has been saying I need to be. I have to take my true inner dominating self and put her to work.
So since my last post--
My Asst Mgr that I thought was finally someone I could rely on and would be there to help me get the store on the right track. Yeah well she talks a great game but isn't so great on the actually following through. I have been made to see things for what they really are lately. I am sure she is trainable. I will get her where she needs to be but for now I have to watch out for her.
My DM came in for a follow up tour and guess what--we weren't were we needed to be. No where near. So I felt very beat up and on the defense. Second guessing myself. But he has made me really think and look around me. I need to hold my staff accountable. All of them. I need to make the plans, follow up on them and then do my best to keep them on task...if they don't get their tasks done ensure that someone (myself) does get them done. I can not allow myself to get bogged down...I am there to manage and jump in as last resort not first. I have to prove I am the MANAGER that all the higher ups say I am--Mark doesn't know yet.
I did manage to take a 3 day weekend for my Anniversary--don't worry I had worked 10 straight days before and now am on a 14 straight day stretch now. But anywho I did have 3 days off this past weekend....poor Hubby was sick :( but I had a chance to relax rest my aching back. I had fucked it up at work AGAIN...I am horrible once the adrenaline kicks in remembering my limits. So with the help of Tramadol and heat packs I nursed my aching body. And handled the occasional call/text from work. My Asst Mgr was suppose to be in charge but it seems she forgot...or she just doesn't realize what is meant to be in charge. Lesson learned she needs more guidance.
I get my annual review next week....I was told by my last DM it was an EE but who know what it will actually be...I am hoping to be pleasantly surprised. I want so badly to prove I am the best. I have had an extremely rough go of it so far. Second guessing myself, not making the right decision, cloudy judgment of my staff....NO more time to buck up and do what I know is right.
Ok enough ranting for this post....
I am now in the position I don't know who I can rely on...every time I think I have someone I can finally put my trust in they FUCK me! So now what?
Time to regroup--turn in to that bitch my hubby has been saying I need to be. I have to take my true inner dominating self and put her to work.
So since my last post--
My Asst Mgr that I thought was finally someone I could rely on and would be there to help me get the store on the right track. Yeah well she talks a great game but isn't so great on the actually following through. I have been made to see things for what they really are lately. I am sure she is trainable. I will get her where she needs to be but for now I have to watch out for her.
My DM came in for a follow up tour and guess what--we weren't were we needed to be. No where near. So I felt very beat up and on the defense. Second guessing myself. But he has made me really think and look around me. I need to hold my staff accountable. All of them. I need to make the plans, follow up on them and then do my best to keep them on task...if they don't get their tasks done ensure that someone (myself) does get them done. I can not allow myself to get bogged down...I am there to manage and jump in as last resort not first. I have to prove I am the MANAGER that all the higher ups say I am--Mark doesn't know yet.
I did manage to take a 3 day weekend for my Anniversary--don't worry I had worked 10 straight days before and now am on a 14 straight day stretch now. But anywho I did have 3 days off this past weekend....poor Hubby was sick :( but I had a chance to relax rest my aching back. I had fucked it up at work AGAIN...I am horrible once the adrenaline kicks in remembering my limits. So with the help of Tramadol and heat packs I nursed my aching body. And handled the occasional call/text from work. My Asst Mgr was suppose to be in charge but it seems she forgot...or she just doesn't realize what is meant to be in charge. Lesson learned she needs more guidance.
I get my annual review next week....I was told by my last DM it was an EE but who know what it will actually be...I am hoping to be pleasantly surprised. I want so badly to prove I am the best. I have had an extremely rough go of it so far. Second guessing myself, not making the right decision, cloudy judgment of my staff....NO more time to buck up and do what I know is right.
Ok enough ranting for this post....
Sunday, February 15, 2015
Fast Forward 3 months
So much has happened in the last 3 months....where to start.
We made it through the Christmas season without me killing anyone. I was able to get Holly promoted to my Asst. Mgr the first part of December...without her I think I would have lost my mind.
My Replenishment Mgr should have been terminated forever ago but alas I am still having to deal with her bs. My DM that was suppose to be assisting me in getting her out but lead me astray then quit herself....ok I am getting ahead of myself. Let me back track a bit.
So lots of long hours and 7 day work week let into December and a visit from my ZVP and our ZHRM. I was so nervous. Still not getting the work out of my replenishment manager, no official assistant manager and fighting my customer experience manager to do something other than classes and my ZVP makes an unscheduled visit to my store right after Black Friday.
The visit went well...to well in my DM's eyes. She became very paranoid afterwards. She was already overly sensitive about the ZVP's sudden visit especially with the ZHRM in tow. She felt like they were singling her out and looking for something to nail her on.
Honestly the visit from my ZVP had been the first positive visit I had had in my new store. He walk with Holly and I, pointing out the opportunities and the success. He gave us praise for what we had accomplished and suggestions on how to fix the opportunities. If felt amazing to have the positive feedback.
My DM on the other hand was suspicious of the visit and grilled us relentlessly on it. She had us tell her every detail. Everything that was said or hinted at while they were in the store. She just knew we had thrown her under the bus some how. I don't know why she would have assumed that. I have never done anything but be loyal to her....I guess all the bs that the new SM in my old store was spewing had settled into the back of her mind.
I work my ass off for everything I have....I had to work 3x as hard now. I won't say my DM abandoned me at this point but she was not readily there to assist me. I worked long days and often extra shifts to keep my store going through peak season. I was so looking forward to an opportunity to have a few days to de-stress. I had been promised after the second week of January I could cash in on some of the lost days leading up to and during the transition to my new store.
As I had mentioned before my DM was extremely paranoid at this point that our ZVP was trying to find a reason to get rid of her. She felt that he held her at a different standard and was contently on her...well she up an quit the second week of January. No notice no nothing. Yes I said the second week of January...right before I was suppose to be able to finally have a few days to myself. Needless to say that did not happen. So many promises made now broken. We as a district were left dangling in the wind.
The DM from a neighboring district has taken over. He is nothing like my last DM. In some ways this is good, some not so much. Remember I love change and challenges....so I will take this on.
He toured my store on my day off this past week(which was suppose to be my first 3 day weekend EVER)...so of course I high tailed it in to be there for at least part of the visit. 5 hours later I leave with mixed emotions of how it went. That's a lie it was a D visit. I have NEVER gotten below a B before but it was understandable. We deserved a D but it's a base line for a start.
I am not sure how he left feeling about me and my staff. I have HUGE opportunities with my staff and I know it...and my last DM put me in this store knowing it. I know I am a good SM....but I find myself wondering does he know it. It was widely know that my last DM thought of me as her best SM. This was something that I have been told multiple times...so what does that mean for me now especially with this new DM whom is the total opposite of her.
Can you tell I am stressed.
We made it through the Christmas season without me killing anyone. I was able to get Holly promoted to my Asst. Mgr the first part of December...without her I think I would have lost my mind.
My Replenishment Mgr should have been terminated forever ago but alas I am still having to deal with her bs. My DM that was suppose to be assisting me in getting her out but lead me astray then quit herself....ok I am getting ahead of myself. Let me back track a bit.
So lots of long hours and 7 day work week let into December and a visit from my ZVP and our ZHRM. I was so nervous. Still not getting the work out of my replenishment manager, no official assistant manager and fighting my customer experience manager to do something other than classes and my ZVP makes an unscheduled visit to my store right after Black Friday.
The visit went well...to well in my DM's eyes. She became very paranoid afterwards. She was already overly sensitive about the ZVP's sudden visit especially with the ZHRM in tow. She felt like they were singling her out and looking for something to nail her on.
Honestly the visit from my ZVP had been the first positive visit I had had in my new store. He walk with Holly and I, pointing out the opportunities and the success. He gave us praise for what we had accomplished and suggestions on how to fix the opportunities. If felt amazing to have the positive feedback.
My DM on the other hand was suspicious of the visit and grilled us relentlessly on it. She had us tell her every detail. Everything that was said or hinted at while they were in the store. She just knew we had thrown her under the bus some how. I don't know why she would have assumed that. I have never done anything but be loyal to her....I guess all the bs that the new SM in my old store was spewing had settled into the back of her mind.
I work my ass off for everything I have....I had to work 3x as hard now. I won't say my DM abandoned me at this point but she was not readily there to assist me. I worked long days and often extra shifts to keep my store going through peak season. I was so looking forward to an opportunity to have a few days to de-stress. I had been promised after the second week of January I could cash in on some of the lost days leading up to and during the transition to my new store.
As I had mentioned before my DM was extremely paranoid at this point that our ZVP was trying to find a reason to get rid of her. She felt that he held her at a different standard and was contently on her...well she up an quit the second week of January. No notice no nothing. Yes I said the second week of January...right before I was suppose to be able to finally have a few days to myself. Needless to say that did not happen. So many promises made now broken. We as a district were left dangling in the wind.
The DM from a neighboring district has taken over. He is nothing like my last DM. In some ways this is good, some not so much. Remember I love change and challenges....so I will take this on.
He toured my store on my day off this past week(which was suppose to be my first 3 day weekend EVER)...so of course I high tailed it in to be there for at least part of the visit. 5 hours later I leave with mixed emotions of how it went. That's a lie it was a D visit. I have NEVER gotten below a B before but it was understandable. We deserved a D but it's a base line for a start.
I am not sure how he left feeling about me and my staff. I have HUGE opportunities with my staff and I know it...and my last DM put me in this store knowing it. I know I am a good SM....but I find myself wondering does he know it. It was widely know that my last DM thought of me as her best SM. This was something that I have been told multiple times...so what does that mean for me now especially with this new DM whom is the total opposite of her.
Can you tell I am stressed.
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