A lot has happen since I last posted.....
I survived the airplane trip to and from Dallas. I met a lot of interesting people while in Dallas. I was sick the whole time but managed to push through:) I was nervous about how much Smart training I had before I got there...I made out ok.
I am now the new Acting Store Manager for the Michaels in West Ocean City:) yeah me! I am loving it. I have a pretty good staff. I need to make a few tweaks nothing major.
I have been working none stop for the last several weeks...I haven't had any time with the hubby. I missed Thanksgiving all together. The store was open 4p-11p so with the hour drive I was gone 2-12....sacrifices of a Store Manager.
Warren says he understands but has been so moody. All I want to do is make him happy....I don't know what to do?? It so hard sometimes...he will out of the blue just snap at me and if I show that it hurt my feelings he get all "I should just keep my mouth shut, nothing I say is right everyone takes what I say wrong......" I don't know what to do. Finally my work life is going well and now my home life isn't:(
Now that Thanksgiving is over its on to Christmas.......my Christmas wish is that my life balances out. I don't want a bunch of gifts or whatever I want joy with my family and a profitable career. Is that to much to ask for?? I hope not because that is what I want.
If you are lucky and I have time I will post again before to long....lol
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Frankenstorm
Frankenstorm is beating down on the coast heading our way. Stores are out of water, batteries, bread, flashlights and gas cans....They say it is going to be the worst storm to hit the Delmarva Peninsula in over 50 years....they said that last year about Ilene and that didn't pan out. I hope they are wrong again...I fear they are not.
I fear that there is going to be devastating damages to the Eastern Shore and even lose of lives. A part of me kind of hopes for some kind of emergency situation so that this won't all be for not...at the same time I pray for mercy. I can not afford to be out of work nor can anyone else I am for sure. Nothing good can come of this storm being so monstrous.
We all are watching and waiting at this point. I have to be at work at 6am in Rehoboth Beach....yes that's right I work down at the beach right where Hurricane Sandy aka Frankenstorm is suppose to make landfall. Its not due to hit until Monday night but we will start feeling the outer rings as early as tomorrow morning....I pray that the new company I work for make better decisions when it comes to natural disasters than my last. I do not want to have to make a decision so early on in my career that will adversely effect my growth.
On a side note today is a sad day for me anyway.....I lost my Grandmother to cancer a year ago today. I fought my battle and won then was so taken back when she suddenly lost hers. I know that there are thousands that lose the battle but I was so sure she was going to bet it. I am so heart broken over it still.....
I pray for a better report the next time I post.
I fear that there is going to be devastating damages to the Eastern Shore and even lose of lives. A part of me kind of hopes for some kind of emergency situation so that this won't all be for not...at the same time I pray for mercy. I can not afford to be out of work nor can anyone else I am for sure. Nothing good can come of this storm being so monstrous.
We all are watching and waiting at this point. I have to be at work at 6am in Rehoboth Beach....yes that's right I work down at the beach right where Hurricane Sandy aka Frankenstorm is suppose to make landfall. Its not due to hit until Monday night but we will start feeling the outer rings as early as tomorrow morning....I pray that the new company I work for make better decisions when it comes to natural disasters than my last. I do not want to have to make a decision so early on in my career that will adversely effect my growth.
On a side note today is a sad day for me anyway.....I lost my Grandmother to cancer a year ago today. I fought my battle and won then was so taken back when she suddenly lost hers. I know that there are thousands that lose the battle but I was so sure she was going to bet it. I am so heart broken over it still.....
I pray for a better report the next time I post.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Home for a few weeks.....
I am back home for a few weeks:) the last couple of weeks training did not go as planned due to visits and being hit heavy with seasonal freight....I did get a lot of hands on experience. Everyone seems very pleased with my progress so I figure I should not stress to much, yet.
I got the honor of being asked to go along on a swat team to one of the stores that failed their visit. The store manager is now no longer with our company and there are lots of interesting rumors flying around of what is going to be done to replace him. I am not going to get my hopes up or fret over what I have heard...yet. Instead I am going to continue learning as much as I can. I have 3 weeks before I go to Dallas for my SMART Training. I really want to do well!
I really do like this company...I have a lot to learn but I feel that the team training me has me on a good path. I really feel like I fit. I met the Zone VP, he is a real person not a stuck up asshole like some of my prior big bosses were. I like Cindy--she is really into developing people to be the best they can be.
I will be at my store for the next several weeks...I am unsure of how it will be. I will do my best to keep in mind who I am and why I was hired...I will not stress. I will give it all I have but I will not turn this job into to the past!
I got the honor of being asked to go along on a swat team to one of the stores that failed their visit. The store manager is now no longer with our company and there are lots of interesting rumors flying around of what is going to be done to replace him. I am not going to get my hopes up or fret over what I have heard...yet. Instead I am going to continue learning as much as I can. I have 3 weeks before I go to Dallas for my SMART Training. I really want to do well!
I really do like this company...I have a lot to learn but I feel that the team training me has me on a good path. I really feel like I fit. I met the Zone VP, he is a real person not a stuck up asshole like some of my prior big bosses were. I like Cindy--she is really into developing people to be the best they can be.
I will be at my store for the next several weeks...I am unsure of how it will be. I will do my best to keep in mind who I am and why I was hired...I will not stress. I will give it all I have but I will not turn this job into to the past!
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Been a while....
So where do I begin? I don't even know where I left off...
I have a new job YAY! I am currently an M.I.T for Michaels :) I love it! I am training in Bowie for several weeks....I love the team I am working with. The HR Generalist that recruited me has gone way out of her way to do everything she can to make my transition to Michaels as painless as possible.
I am in my second week of training...most of it has come very natrual to me so far and the new stuff I am picking up on quickly. I can not rave enough about the Managers I am training with...they are awesome. My mentor (I haven't met her yet) is Stephanie....wow really I get to call Stephanie anytime I have a question or whatever...I think that is so funny. But I know I can call Dustin or Sandra, also.
Last week I was at the Holiday Inn in College Park....it well umm kind of sucked. This week and the rest of my stay in Bowie I'm at the Hampton in Bowie. It is so nice. It even smells like warm baked cookies in my room....I swear I've gained 10lbs just from the wonderful aroma. The room is extremely nice and comfortable. I know my way around a little better here than College Park. So it works for me...
I miss being home with my family but its what I have to do to make sure we have a future. Money is extremely tight still....tighter than I have ever seen. Pawn shop and robbing Peter to Pay Paul kind of tight. It will be hard for the next month or so but after the first of the year it should finally level out. And we will finally be able to breath again.
I have my eye on the future....
I have a new job YAY! I am currently an M.I.T for Michaels :) I love it! I am training in Bowie for several weeks....I love the team I am working with. The HR Generalist that recruited me has gone way out of her way to do everything she can to make my transition to Michaels as painless as possible.
I am in my second week of training...most of it has come very natrual to me so far and the new stuff I am picking up on quickly. I can not rave enough about the Managers I am training with...they are awesome. My mentor (I haven't met her yet) is Stephanie....wow really I get to call Stephanie anytime I have a question or whatever...I think that is so funny. But I know I can call Dustin or Sandra, also.
Last week I was at the Holiday Inn in College Park....it well umm kind of sucked. This week and the rest of my stay in Bowie I'm at the Hampton in Bowie. It is so nice. It even smells like warm baked cookies in my room....I swear I've gained 10lbs just from the wonderful aroma. The room is extremely nice and comfortable. I know my way around a little better here than College Park. So it works for me...
I miss being home with my family but its what I have to do to make sure we have a future. Money is extremely tight still....tighter than I have ever seen. Pawn shop and robbing Peter to Pay Paul kind of tight. It will be hard for the next month or so but after the first of the year it should finally level out. And we will finally be able to breath again.
I have my eye on the future....
Thursday, September 27, 2012
A Positive Blog for a change:)
I know has been forever since I posted a positive blog but here it goes...
I received a job offer from Michaels...a really good offer. So as of Monday I will be in the Manager in Training program:) I am so excited.
I won't lie I was terrified at the beginning of this process...I was cold called for this position by Angie the HR Generalist for this area. During the first interview it was meantioned that I would have to attend a training session in Dallas TX...Oh My. I was interested in everything else she said but was hung up on the idea of having to fly to Dallas for training...
I was also interviewing with Marshalls at the time and honestly thought that is where I would have ended up (their loss for dragging their feet). But I liked what Angie was saying so I went through the motions of interview process because well you never know! I am so glad I did!
My interviews went well...with every person I talked with I found myself wanting to continue the conversation. I found myself wanting to impress them! And I did! They really liked me and I really liked them...
I felt like the DM Cindy was a fair business woman that genially wants only the best for her managers. She is a firm believer of training people to get further in life! I think she will be a huge influence on my future!
I spent sometime with the Store Manager and really got a good feeling off of him. He reminded me of my favorite boss back in the day (Bob). I am older and wiser now so I will appreciate the management style more this time around. He is trying to run the store all by himself right now...I hope he doesn't have a nervous breakdown before I get through training. I will love the challenge of becoming his second. From what I have been told he is one of the best store managers in our area...
I was worried about the drive everyday. But you know that's a little thing. I will be driving to the beach everyday...how can that be a bad thing. Once I get a routine down it should be all good:) Plus we are thinking of trading in the Avenger (yes I love that car but...) to get a hybrid. I wish Dodge made a hybrid:(
Anyway I start Monday! 5 weeks in Bowie then I fly out to Dallas for a week...its like an adventure
I received a job offer from Michaels...a really good offer. So as of Monday I will be in the Manager in Training program:) I am so excited.
I won't lie I was terrified at the beginning of this process...I was cold called for this position by Angie the HR Generalist for this area. During the first interview it was meantioned that I would have to attend a training session in Dallas TX...Oh My. I was interested in everything else she said but was hung up on the idea of having to fly to Dallas for training...
I was also interviewing with Marshalls at the time and honestly thought that is where I would have ended up (their loss for dragging their feet). But I liked what Angie was saying so I went through the motions of interview process because well you never know! I am so glad I did!
My interviews went well...with every person I talked with I found myself wanting to continue the conversation. I found myself wanting to impress them! And I did! They really liked me and I really liked them...
I felt like the DM Cindy was a fair business woman that genially wants only the best for her managers. She is a firm believer of training people to get further in life! I think she will be a huge influence on my future!
I spent sometime with the Store Manager and really got a good feeling off of him. He reminded me of my favorite boss back in the day (Bob). I am older and wiser now so I will appreciate the management style more this time around. He is trying to run the store all by himself right now...I hope he doesn't have a nervous breakdown before I get through training. I will love the challenge of becoming his second. From what I have been told he is one of the best store managers in our area...
I was worried about the drive everyday. But you know that's a little thing. I will be driving to the beach everyday...how can that be a bad thing. Once I get a routine down it should be all good:) Plus we are thinking of trading in the Avenger (yes I love that car but...) to get a hybrid. I wish Dodge made a hybrid:(
Anyway I start Monday! 5 weeks in Bowie then I fly out to Dallas for a week...its like an adventure
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Just don't understand
I am a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason...usually. I just don't understand why so many things have gone so wrong for us in the last several months.
*I quit my job because I could not honestly handle it anymore...I had become so lost in the depression I was terrified for myself.
Looking back now I should have taken a leave of absence--gone out to have my knee surgery. I honestly thought I would not have a problem finding another job--maybe not making as much money but still a descent enough job that I could be proud of. If I had realized I would still be out of work 2 and half months later the 3 months needed to go on Long term disability wouldn't have been such a burden. I fucked up...no way around that. I really had a hard time making the decision to quit but still felt it was right at the time--now months later....
*My Grandmother Estate was suppose to be settled on in June.
Here it is mid-September and still no clue what is truly going on. I get one thing from one person and something else from another. This is family doing this. I don't know who is being honest or telling me whatever. It is so frustrating--that settlement could be a game changer for my household. Instead of me stressing over getting a job and taking whatever I can...I could actually hold out for a job I really want. Or even think more seriously about what I want to do. Right now we don't have that luxury we are so behind on everything. We had worked so hard to get out credit cleaned up just to screw it up again.
*Every time I think I have a job....
I have filled out a ton of applications in the last several months, went on several (what seemed liked) really good interviews with what seems to be no resolve. Marshall's is still supposedly still doing a background check on me??? Michael's is going much quicker but I am scared shit less of the idea of having to go to Dallas TX to train :( DelTech didn't even give me a chance....I am so frustrated
I am in pain, I feel like a big ass loser whose whole life is seemingly falling apart....at the same time I feel so blessed because I discovered that I have a hand full of really awesome friends...a couple of which I would have never thought would have been. I am a good person, no I am not trying to convince myself...well maybe I am. Anyway I really am a good person...I have always attempted to be a good friend to others so why should it surprise me to have them return the support.
I just don't understand why things are happening the way they are right now....I am sure I will look back at some point and be like of course it was that way.....If it had not been for xyz I would not be yada yada....
Oh Lord I pray that I make it that far....
*I quit my job because I could not honestly handle it anymore...I had become so lost in the depression I was terrified for myself.
Looking back now I should have taken a leave of absence--gone out to have my knee surgery. I honestly thought I would not have a problem finding another job--maybe not making as much money but still a descent enough job that I could be proud of. If I had realized I would still be out of work 2 and half months later the 3 months needed to go on Long term disability wouldn't have been such a burden. I fucked up...no way around that. I really had a hard time making the decision to quit but still felt it was right at the time--now months later....
*My Grandmother Estate was suppose to be settled on in June.
Here it is mid-September and still no clue what is truly going on. I get one thing from one person and something else from another. This is family doing this. I don't know who is being honest or telling me whatever. It is so frustrating--that settlement could be a game changer for my household. Instead of me stressing over getting a job and taking whatever I can...I could actually hold out for a job I really want. Or even think more seriously about what I want to do. Right now we don't have that luxury we are so behind on everything. We had worked so hard to get out credit cleaned up just to screw it up again.
*Every time I think I have a job....
I have filled out a ton of applications in the last several months, went on several (what seemed liked) really good interviews with what seems to be no resolve. Marshall's is still supposedly still doing a background check on me??? Michael's is going much quicker but I am scared shit less of the idea of having to go to Dallas TX to train :( DelTech didn't even give me a chance....I am so frustrated
I am in pain, I feel like a big ass loser whose whole life is seemingly falling apart....at the same time I feel so blessed because I discovered that I have a hand full of really awesome friends...a couple of which I would have never thought would have been. I am a good person, no I am not trying to convince myself...well maybe I am. Anyway I really am a good person...I have always attempted to be a good friend to others so why should it surprise me to have them return the support.
I just don't understand why things are happening the way they are right now....I am sure I will look back at some point and be like of course it was that way.....If it had not been for xyz I would not be yada yada....
Oh Lord I pray that I make it that far....
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
They are calling for Rain
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Color of the day today is BLUE....
I started off blogging about how depressed I am and yada yada yada....
I don't want to do that anymore. I deleted the orginal blog and started over. Now what to write instead...
I just realized it was Wednesday...wow that's pretty sad, I just forget what day it is now.
Hopefully Hubby will be in a good mood when he gets home. When he is in a not so good mood it puts me in a worse mood. Being in a bad mood isn't good for anyone. I want my family to be happy again.
No time like the present to find out
Color of the day today is BLUE....
I started off blogging about how depressed I am and yada yada yada....
I don't want to do that anymore. I deleted the orginal blog and started over. Now what to write instead...
I just realized it was Wednesday...wow that's pretty sad, I just forget what day it is now.
Hopefully Hubby will be in a good mood when he gets home. When he is in a not so good mood it puts me in a worse mood. Being in a bad mood isn't good for anyone. I want my family to be happy again.
No time like the present to find out
Democratic Convention started
Tuesday
September 4, 2012
Democratic
Convention started today and of course my hubby is watching. He does not
consider himself a Democrat but he is. He is a political junky! He is the most
knowledgeable person I have ever met when it comes to politic todayJ I love seeing how some of these people
dress for the convention. There are some all dressed up in business suit and
nice dresses, then there are others that are well in “patriotic” garb….boas,
big hats, red white and blue what-not so funny. For some it’s a big ass party
and others it’s extremely serious.
There is also a
Criminal Minds marathon on today…..which he is also addicted to. He keeps
flipping back and forth. It makes it a little hard to get into either show. It
makes him happy and anything that will make him happy I am all for. I really
enjoy watching with him no matter what it is. I like feeling apart of his
enjoyment.
We were looking
for some good news today….instead we got a little of the same old thing.
Something has to give for our family. We need a miracle. The light at the end
of the tunnel is an allusion or it the train getting ready to run us over, I am
not sure but I do know it is not the light of hope.
Today seems to
have been a questionable day for the whole family. Liz is now homesick again
and wants to come home. She came home
for the long weekend, which was great for us but seems to have been bad for
her. She’s never been on her own before, I suppose I sheltered her more than I
should have. Now she is having a hard time being on her own. I know she will
get through this but it is tough…..
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Empty today
I am feeling very empty today. I really want to help my husband and I can't. He is worrying himself to death over the bills...Being without my pay is a huge loss for us. I need to find a way to bring in some kind of income while I am in career limbo. I feel so horrible about our situation. I know it is all my fault.
I have so many things just out of my reach at this point. I am so frustrated! I don't know what to do. I am getting pretty desperate.
I really wanted to take this opportunity to make a change in my life..but all I am doing is selling myself to the first retail store that will take me. I am better than this. I have been a hard ass strong Manager that deserves to be fought over not me groveling.
I don't really want much....I want a job that I feel good about, that I can dress nice and be appreciated. A place that I enjoy going to everyday, somewhere that I can make a difference. Is what I am wanting unrealistic? I don't want anything handed to me...I will work for it. I am a hard worker, really I am. I have always put everything I have into my job.
I will continue my search and pray that the new door will open soon.....hopefully before we are out on the streets:(
I have so many things just out of my reach at this point. I am so frustrated! I don't know what to do. I am getting pretty desperate.
I really wanted to take this opportunity to make a change in my life..but all I am doing is selling myself to the first retail store that will take me. I am better than this. I have been a hard ass strong Manager that deserves to be fought over not me groveling.
I don't really want much....I want a job that I feel good about, that I can dress nice and be appreciated. A place that I enjoy going to everyday, somewhere that I can make a difference. Is what I am wanting unrealistic? I don't want anything handed to me...I will work for it. I am a hard worker, really I am. I have always put everything I have into my job.
I will continue my search and pray that the new door will open soon.....hopefully before we are out on the streets:(
I am so empty inside........................
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
August 29, 2012
Today started with me fixing eggs for my son...Something I would have never had time or energy to do. I love being able to do that simple thing. I enjoy being here to see him off to school. I never realized how much I had missed.
After taking him to school I prepared for my 10 am interview with the DM at the store in the same complex as BBB. I was all ready to go when Liz surprised with me a call. She was thinking about me and wanted check in. It was the little distraction I needed:)
The interview went well...it was another hour and half one. Which I have thought went well before and ended with out a job offer. The DM (Reggie) reminded me of an old DM I had at BBB that I liked and loved me....I did great while he was the DM.
Reggie talked about how fast the company is growing and the need for strong managers to fill the opening spots. He talked about me getting started right away and being fully trained to open a new store coming to the Berlin area. I was caught up in the energy of the moment and said I would love that opportunity.
I have no idea what I really want anymore....one moment I am wanted to scale back not be the boss of a big store to being energized over the possibility of being the top dog of a multi billion dollar corp? grrr what the hell.
I have a lot of soul searching to do that is for sure. I need some guidance! I need to get rid of this damn headache so I can think more clearly
After taking him to school I prepared for my 10 am interview with the DM at the store in the same complex as BBB. I was all ready to go when Liz surprised with me a call. She was thinking about me and wanted check in. It was the little distraction I needed:)
The interview went well...it was another hour and half one. Which I have thought went well before and ended with out a job offer. The DM (Reggie) reminded me of an old DM I had at BBB that I liked and loved me....I did great while he was the DM.
Reggie talked about how fast the company is growing and the need for strong managers to fill the opening spots. He talked about me getting started right away and being fully trained to open a new store coming to the Berlin area. I was caught up in the energy of the moment and said I would love that opportunity.
I have no idea what I really want anymore....one moment I am wanted to scale back not be the boss of a big store to being energized over the possibility of being the top dog of a multi billion dollar corp? grrr what the hell.
I have a lot of soul searching to do that is for sure. I need some guidance! I need to get rid of this damn headache so I can think more clearly
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Aug 28 2012
So we haven't completely sunk the ship yet, hubby says we can stay a float probably another week.
I have my second interview with Marshalls tomorrow finally. I had a first interview with Michaels yesterday...it a little further to drive but the opportunity of advancement faster (question is do I want advancement--or do I want a job for now and keep looking for the read deal, the dream job).
Both my hubby and I have applied for a sweet job at the local college as Manager of the bookstore. I am not sure how I feel on that. So far every time we have both went after the same job I have come away with the job...but I really think he would be great at it and it would make him so much happier than he is right now. He really needs a change.
I know that perfect job is out there crying for me....why can't I find it. I really thought the Ashley job was it...sigh
I am extremely stressed this morning. I had my phone interview with unemployment. It seemed to go ok but now he has to contact BBB for their rebut. He said depending on what information he gets from that conversation he may have another interview with me or he may make his decision. It could be another week before I will know either way. I feel like shit right this moment just thinking about what they will say--call me a liar. I put way to much into that damn place and allowed them to take way so much of me....my soul.
I have to remember what I have been through and where I want to go from here. I have to close the door on that chapter of my life. I can not dwell on it. It will eat me alive.
So we haven't completely sunk the ship yet, hubby says we can stay a float probably another week.
I have my second interview with Marshalls tomorrow finally. I had a first interview with Michaels yesterday...it a little further to drive but the opportunity of advancement faster (question is do I want advancement--or do I want a job for now and keep looking for the read deal, the dream job).
Both my hubby and I have applied for a sweet job at the local college as Manager of the bookstore. I am not sure how I feel on that. So far every time we have both went after the same job I have come away with the job...but I really think he would be great at it and it would make him so much happier than he is right now. He really needs a change.
I know that perfect job is out there crying for me....why can't I find it. I really thought the Ashley job was it...sigh
I am extremely stressed this morning. I had my phone interview with unemployment. It seemed to go ok but now he has to contact BBB for their rebut. He said depending on what information he gets from that conversation he may have another interview with me or he may make his decision. It could be another week before I will know either way. I feel like shit right this moment just thinking about what they will say--call me a liar. I put way to much into that damn place and allowed them to take way so much of me....my soul.
I have to remember what I have been through and where I want to go from here. I have to close the door on that chapter of my life. I can not dwell on it. It will eat me alive.
Monday, Aug 13,
2012
The Irish Queen
Blog
It’s been 21
days since I quit BBB. I really thought I would have a new job by now….a better
job with less stress. Instead I have no job and more stress.
I finally
received my No Thank You letter today from Ashley Furniture. I guess my
instincts are way off. Part of me still thought I had gotten the job right up
until I opened the letter.
I have an
interview tomorrow with a company in the same shopping center as bbb. Strange
part is I never sent them a resume or applied to them? The manager called me to
see if I was still interested in a job. She stated that she had been forwarded
my resume from she thought my secretary?? So strange. Anyway I will dress nicely
and go do my best to charm her into giving me a job.
I haven’t been
able to enjoy the time off I have had due to stressing over not having a job.
That is so messed up. If I could have hung on just a little longer, If I had
realized how close the estate settlement was, If I had just stepped back and
reasoned it all out, maybe I wouldn’t be in this situation. I would not be in
the state of grrr!
My self-esteem
is almost totally in the toilet. I will suck it up tomorrow for my interview
because that is what I do. I really just want a job at this point….I need a
job! I will worry after that about what I want next. I just need to start bring
home a paycheck or we are sunk.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Where did I leave off....
Grr I have no idea where I left off and have no desire to actually take the time to go back and look....not lazy just ummm don't care this morning.
Update first I suppose. Over the last week my kids ran away, that is they went to hang out else where for the week. Con went to his grandparents and Liz went to Carey's Camp with her other family.
I had 2 interviews that I felt went exceptionally well with a local Furniture store that is nationally known. They are wanting to fill the position quite quickly and from the conversations I had with the 4 interviewers I seems perfect.....so now I am waiting for the offer. I won't lie I am excited about this position. Its less money than BBB but I am learning I made really good money with them and didn't know it at the time. I get to wear dressy clothes and be pretty:). I will be in charge of 9-18 sales associates-- training them, keeping them motivated and on track to making sales goals. I will be home every night by 7:30. I will be able to take my son to school everyday. So many positives...don't get me wrong the pay is a big negative but if I can negotiate it a little it will be worth the it! I hope to hear something tomorrow! I NEED A JOB and this would be a great way to start a new career in a new field.....
Back to the kids: Connor had fun at his grandparents but didn't do anything really exciting just the normal.
Liz had more fun....she always does when she goes out to camp. She came home sick:( she always seems to do that also. She also had a chance to go shopping with that side. She has almost everything she needs for college now. Which is good because its only a few weeks away.
Do I want to get into that.....another reason why I hope I get the job.
Update first I suppose. Over the last week my kids ran away, that is they went to hang out else where for the week. Con went to his grandparents and Liz went to Carey's Camp with her other family.
I had 2 interviews that I felt went exceptionally well with a local Furniture store that is nationally known. They are wanting to fill the position quite quickly and from the conversations I had with the 4 interviewers I seems perfect.....so now I am waiting for the offer. I won't lie I am excited about this position. Its less money than BBB but I am learning I made really good money with them and didn't know it at the time. I get to wear dressy clothes and be pretty:). I will be in charge of 9-18 sales associates-- training them, keeping them motivated and on track to making sales goals. I will be home every night by 7:30. I will be able to take my son to school everyday. So many positives...don't get me wrong the pay is a big negative but if I can negotiate it a little it will be worth the it! I hope to hear something tomorrow! I NEED A JOB and this would be a great way to start a new career in a new field.....
Back to the kids: Connor had fun at his grandparents but didn't do anything really exciting just the normal.
Liz had more fun....she always does when she goes out to camp. She came home sick:( she always seems to do that also. She also had a chance to go shopping with that side. She has almost everything she needs for college now. Which is good because its only a few weeks away.
Do I want to get into that.....another reason why I hope I get the job.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
last paycheck for a while....
I picked up my last paycheck today from BBB. I was surprised to see my last check was actually more than I had expected....a positive:)
The cashier at the service desk announced over the walkie I was there and out of nowhere here came several associates to see me....I am still loved!
Of course Scarey had no desire to even say hi....almost ran me over with a ladder. That's ok I had no desire to say hi to her either. I honestly didn't think she would still be there.
I talked to one of the Managers I left behind for a few minutes. According to him Jessica has been a totally different person this last week. He asked if I had anything to do with it. All I did was be honest during my exit interview. I hope her change is real....
Now I don't want to talk about or give a shit about that store anymore. I don't want anything to do with it at all......
The cashier at the service desk announced over the walkie I was there and out of nowhere here came several associates to see me....I am still loved!
Of course Scarey had no desire to even say hi....almost ran me over with a ladder. That's ok I had no desire to say hi to her either. I honestly didn't think she would still be there.
I talked to one of the Managers I left behind for a few minutes. According to him Jessica has been a totally different person this last week. He asked if I had anything to do with it. All I did was be honest during my exit interview. I hope her change is real....
Now I don't want to talk about or give a shit about that store anymore. I don't want anything to do with it at all......
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Exit Interview
Had my exit interview today (finally) with the Regional HR Manager for bbb. She let me talk and get out everything I needed to say. She asked a few questions to confirm information she already knew.
I learned a few things I should have already known. Before you give up go as high as you can and make as much noise as you can until someone finally listens.
So the best part of the exit interview was the fact that I got schooled on Facebook. I shouldn't put negative stuff out there about Jessica if I didn't want to burn my bridge with bbb. I actually had to think about what did I say on FB? I never put anything to major on FB....I supposedly posted something very negative about Jessica on someone Else's page and it was seen by someone that went to Jessica about it and she then in return emailed HR and DM. I admitted to saying something but not recalling what it was...why lie, that's not me. I actually do have integrity unlike her.
I should have brought fb and scrolled through while I was on the phone with her but didn't think of it....but of course as soon as I got off the phone I thought of it. I found the comment and with my hubby's help sent it to RHR Mgr...;p
So now that door is fully closed and probably will never be opened again. What a damn shame. On to better things.....
I learned a few things I should have already known. Before you give up go as high as you can and make as much noise as you can until someone finally listens.
So the best part of the exit interview was the fact that I got schooled on Facebook. I shouldn't put negative stuff out there about Jessica if I didn't want to burn my bridge with bbb. I actually had to think about what did I say on FB? I never put anything to major on FB....I supposedly posted something very negative about Jessica on someone Else's page and it was seen by someone that went to Jessica about it and she then in return emailed HR and DM. I admitted to saying something but not recalling what it was...why lie, that's not me. I actually do have integrity unlike her.
I should have brought fb and scrolled through while I was on the phone with her but didn't think of it....but of course as soon as I got off the phone I thought of it. I found the comment and with my hubby's help sent it to RHR Mgr...;p
So now that door is fully closed and probably will never be opened again. What a damn shame. On to better things.....
Sunday, July 22, 2012
One week after bbb
I have put in a ton of applications....hopefully I will hear from someone this week.
I love being home with my family but I need a job asap! We really can't be with out my pay check for to long. It really sucks, I would love to be able to be home the rest of the summer. That is not realistic, I know.
I am nervous and scared....I really thought it would be easy for me to find another job. I have great credentials. I am not giving up it really has only been a week. ]]=
I will keep doing what I can around the house...I am planning a yardsale. Its a two fold idea....get rid of unwanted/unneeded stuff and make money. Hoping for a good haul:)
keep you posted
I love being home with my family but I need a job asap! We really can't be with out my pay check for to long. It really sucks, I would love to be able to be home the rest of the summer. That is not realistic, I know.
I am nervous and scared....I really thought it would be easy for me to find another job. I have great credentials. I am not giving up it really has only been a week. ]]=
I will keep doing what I can around the house...I am planning a yardsale. Its a two fold idea....get rid of unwanted/unneeded stuff and make money. Hoping for a good haul:)
keep you posted
Friday, July 20, 2012
One door closes
So I interviewed with Yankee Candle for a store manager's position. It really went well. I actually had a double interview it went so well. With in a couple of days they called to see if I wanted to go on to stage 3 of the process. Taking a computerized evaluation. I felt like I did well on it. Waited, waited called them back a few days later. Found out it had been narrowed down to myself and one other candidate......woohoo
Yeah so I called today to see the status....They went with the other candidate. Cheryl (DM) said they absolutely loved me, I was more than qualified but they went with the other candidate......I wonder if was because of the amount of salary I had on my resume? Did they go with a cheaper candidate? They are keeping my resume on file.
Should I feel let down...I do. I wanted the position because I thought it would be a challenge. Its a small store that is currently losing money...I love a challenge.
Please Lord show me my next door
Yeah so I called today to see the status....They went with the other candidate. Cheryl (DM) said they absolutely loved me, I was more than qualified but they went with the other candidate......I wonder if was because of the amount of salary I had on my resume? Did they go with a cheaper candidate? They are keeping my resume on file.
Should I feel let down...I do. I wanted the position because I thought it would be a challenge. Its a small store that is currently losing money...I love a challenge.
Please Lord show me my next door
So I quit
After the epic fail of a review I only had two choices....quit or become Jessica's bitch. I actually thought about it for several days. With each day she got worse..she knew she had me. She could fire me at her whim. I didn't think it could get worse and it did. I don't understand why she was so determined to get rid of me.
My hubby says it was out of jealousy, she was afraid of me and how much respect of our associates have for me. That she knew I was a better manager than her, that I was a better person than her.
All I wanted was to be a good manager, to enjoy my job and have a successful store. I would have done anything she wanted if she would have treated me with the same respect I treated her. I did not want her position, I was very happy to be Operation Manager.
I had a hard time deciding to quit. I didn't want to. I just could not keep feeling abused.
The day I put my notice in she called me into her office. She laughed. I explained to her how I felt and that I thought my review was unfair-unjust. She didn't care what I thought. She was giddy with happiness. She won.
That was 2 weeks ago. She avoided having any contact with me the first week and then was on vacation the past week. She was made to come back off of vacation yesterday to work with me my last shift. I honestly thought she would have sent me home early but no... I worked my whole shift.
I had been having second thoughts leading up to my final day. Both of the Assistant Managers had tried several times to talk me into staying. That it would not be long and Jessica would be going to the new store. I actually starting to have doubts....
15 minutes into my shift Jessica reminded me why I was quiting. I guess she just could not help herself.
My hubby says it was out of jealousy, she was afraid of me and how much respect of our associates have for me. That she knew I was a better manager than her, that I was a better person than her.
All I wanted was to be a good manager, to enjoy my job and have a successful store. I would have done anything she wanted if she would have treated me with the same respect I treated her. I did not want her position, I was very happy to be Operation Manager.
I had a hard time deciding to quit. I didn't want to. I just could not keep feeling abused.
The day I put my notice in she called me into her office. She laughed. I explained to her how I felt and that I thought my review was unfair-unjust. She didn't care what I thought. She was giddy with happiness. She won.
That was 2 weeks ago. She avoided having any contact with me the first week and then was on vacation the past week. She was made to come back off of vacation yesterday to work with me my last shift. I honestly thought she would have sent me home early but no... I worked my whole shift.
I had been having second thoughts leading up to my final day. Both of the Assistant Managers had tried several times to talk me into staying. That it would not be long and Jessica would be going to the new store. I actually starting to have doubts....
15 minutes into my shift Jessica reminded me why I was quiting. I guess she just could not help herself.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Review *epic fail*
I have been at my current job for a little over 7 years now. It is longest job that I have ever held at this point. I truly saw myself retiring from this company. The last year has been a true test of my wills. And now I am at my wits end. I really don't think I can take much more.
I received my review a few days ago. I knew it wasn't going to be a great one. My boss truly doesn't like me and I don't think she is capable of giving me a compliment to save her life.....but I never expected the review I was given.
I have NEVER been put on full probation before...well until now. Last year's review was what I thought the worst review I could ever possibly get...I still received a raise (a very small one) and was told I needed to work on xyz....and I felt like shit but went out of my way to ensure that I did in fact improve on xyz. So when I was called in to the office for my review this time I was totally taken back by the stern disciplinarian I was given.
I don't even know where to start to try and explain it. I knew Jessica disliked me but to out and out lie about my performance....and best yet she has the district manager in her pocket?? wtf
I am a hard worker that goes out the way to help anyone that asks, I have high morals....yet in my review I am lazy, never get anything accomplished completely and don't help anyone ever, I have a bad attitude and my integrity was called into question. That is just the jest of it.
I walked out of that office broken and betrayed. I go home every night in pain from giving my job everything I have. I have missed out on so much of my kids lives because I have put that damn place first...... even after the cancer I found myself doing it, even though I said I would never do it again. For what....to be called a parasite by Jessica. To be made to walk on eggshells daily wondering what she was going to call me out on. Feeling like I am being set up to fail constantly. I don't know anymore.
Grrr I hate this. I hate this feeling. I hate that she has so much control over me and my life. I am not the horrible Asst. Manager she has made me out to be. I am not this person at all. Why does everyone else love me and she hates me so! I try so hard.
June 27, 2012
I received my review a few days ago. I knew it wasn't going to be a great one. My boss truly doesn't like me and I don't think she is capable of giving me a compliment to save her life.....but I never expected the review I was given.
I have NEVER been put on full probation before...well until now. Last year's review was what I thought the worst review I could ever possibly get...I still received a raise (a very small one) and was told I needed to work on xyz....and I felt like shit but went out of my way to ensure that I did in fact improve on xyz. So when I was called in to the office for my review this time I was totally taken back by the stern disciplinarian I was given.
I don't even know where to start to try and explain it. I knew Jessica disliked me but to out and out lie about my performance....and best yet she has the district manager in her pocket?? wtf
I am a hard worker that goes out the way to help anyone that asks, I have high morals....yet in my review I am lazy, never get anything accomplished completely and don't help anyone ever, I have a bad attitude and my integrity was called into question. That is just the jest of it.
I walked out of that office broken and betrayed. I go home every night in pain from giving my job everything I have. I have missed out on so much of my kids lives because I have put that damn place first...... even after the cancer I found myself doing it, even though I said I would never do it again. For what....to be called a parasite by Jessica. To be made to walk on eggshells daily wondering what she was going to call me out on. Feeling like I am being set up to fail constantly. I don't know anymore.
Grrr I hate this. I hate this feeling. I hate that she has so much control over me and my life. I am not the horrible Asst. Manager she has made me out to be. I am not this person at all. Why does everyone else love me and she hates me so! I try so hard.
June 27, 2012
Friday, May 4, 2012
Grrrrrr
Just want to vent for a moment...I can't keep it bottled up anymore!
I work my ass off...give up my personal time for the better of the store over and over for what? I never get a thank you or a good job--pat on the proverbial back...nothing.
I am not saying that the person getting all the praise right now does not deserve some praise but putting her on the this high ass pedestal is ridiculous. Taking credit for other persons hard work is just wrong. Yes, she did put in a lot of extra time and did do a lot....I am not saying anything against that. But it's easy when you have 3+ full shift with no interruptions and specialist coming in to assist you.
Maybe I am just jealous..idk. I feel hurt....I did work my ass off in that department for over a year with next to no help. I loved working in that department...I never was given any help......if anything I felt like I was constintly being set up to fail. Now I am just repeating myself..ugh.
Yeah I must just be jealous. I needed to get out so that I work threw it. I will continue doing my best in the position I am in now and she can deal with all the bull shit that comes with the praise she is receiving.
They all are bunch of two-face bi-atches
I work my ass off...give up my personal time for the better of the store over and over for what? I never get a thank you or a good job--pat on the proverbial back...nothing.
I am not saying that the person getting all the praise right now does not deserve some praise but putting her on the this high ass pedestal is ridiculous. Taking credit for other persons hard work is just wrong. Yes, she did put in a lot of extra time and did do a lot....I am not saying anything against that. But it's easy when you have 3+ full shift with no interruptions and specialist coming in to assist you.
Maybe I am just jealous..idk. I feel hurt....I did work my ass off in that department for over a year with next to no help. I loved working in that department...I never was given any help......if anything I felt like I was constintly being set up to fail. Now I am just repeating myself..ugh.
Yeah I must just be jealous. I needed to get out so that I work threw it. I will continue doing my best in the position I am in now and she can deal with all the bull shit that comes with the praise she is receiving.
They all are bunch of two-face bi-atches
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Time slips away
I always say I am going to take some me time......blogging is me time but it never seems to be me time.
Well I have a few minutes so I am making it ME TIME!
I don't even remember when or what I blogged about last? So I will go with what is on my mind right now and you will have to deal with it.
My last appointment with Dr. S went great. He is keeping me on my super med that makes me not as blue and helps with the hot flashes:) I don't know what I'd do if I were not taking them....I still have more blue days than I'd like to admit but not nearly as deep a blue as before. I take each day as it comes. I thought the further out and the closer I got to the 5 yr point I wouldn't still feel this way....I am so afraid of the beast coming back again. Even when you beat it your life is still never the same. I just can't get past this point yet. I will keep working on it.
Lots of changes at work.....some I like, some I do not but all in all I love change... so I will make the best of it. I wish I could change a few people that I work with but that is not realistic. I am good at my job and would be even better if I didn't have to deal with bi-polar shit from those around me. Like me, hate me, whatever just let me do my job and leave me alone. If you are always on my back giving me shit I'm not going to do my job well.....that is just how it is.
I am sick of fucked up ass holes that want to take their bullshit out on me.I would love to be one of those bitches that just dished right back out at them but I am not. I do my best to treat people the way I want to be treated. I keep getting told to just blow it off, what they think doesn't mean shit.....but it does to me and I have no idea why it does. I don't like it when someone is pissed at me. I take it so damn personal. I have been through so much in my life up would think I would be immune to this shit by now.....or is it because I have been through so much I am like this? Who the hell knows.
I am stressing over money as usual....My Baby Girl has decided not to get a job, yet still wants to do all the expensive shit that goes along with being a senior in high school. I don't know what to do with her. She knows she is a spoiled brat. I didn't until resently, lol. I always have done my best to make sure she had a better life than I did.....I did not realize I was making her a spoiled brat. And yes I admit I am to blame. I may not admit to saying that later. I have done with out to make sure she had what she needed/wanted. I do the same for my son. Why didn't I see what I was doing.
Enough me time for now.....maybe I will try to make some me time again tomorrow or the next day...maybe
Well I have a few minutes so I am making it ME TIME!
I don't even remember when or what I blogged about last? So I will go with what is on my mind right now and you will have to deal with it.
My last appointment with Dr. S went great. He is keeping me on my super med that makes me not as blue and helps with the hot flashes:) I don't know what I'd do if I were not taking them....I still have more blue days than I'd like to admit but not nearly as deep a blue as before. I take each day as it comes. I thought the further out and the closer I got to the 5 yr point I wouldn't still feel this way....I am so afraid of the beast coming back again. Even when you beat it your life is still never the same. I just can't get past this point yet. I will keep working on it.
Lots of changes at work.....some I like, some I do not but all in all I love change... so I will make the best of it. I wish I could change a few people that I work with but that is not realistic. I am good at my job and would be even better if I didn't have to deal with bi-polar shit from those around me. Like me, hate me, whatever just let me do my job and leave me alone. If you are always on my back giving me shit I'm not going to do my job well.....that is just how it is.
I am sick of fucked up ass holes that want to take their bullshit out on me.I would love to be one of those bitches that just dished right back out at them but I am not. I do my best to treat people the way I want to be treated. I keep getting told to just blow it off, what they think doesn't mean shit.....but it does to me and I have no idea why it does. I don't like it when someone is pissed at me. I take it so damn personal. I have been through so much in my life up would think I would be immune to this shit by now.....or is it because I have been through so much I am like this? Who the hell knows.
I am stressing over money as usual....My Baby Girl has decided not to get a job, yet still wants to do all the expensive shit that goes along with being a senior in high school. I don't know what to do with her. She knows she is a spoiled brat. I didn't until resently, lol. I always have done my best to make sure she had a better life than I did.....I did not realize I was making her a spoiled brat. And yes I admit I am to blame. I may not admit to saying that later. I have done with out to make sure she had what she needed/wanted. I do the same for my son. Why didn't I see what I was doing.
Enough me time for now.....maybe I will try to make some me time again tomorrow or the next day...maybe
Friday, January 27, 2012
So sad....
I don't know where to start this time.
Shianne Sparrow took her own life yesterday. My son had been friends with this beautiful young lady most of his life. I remember them playing in the back yard when they were younger. Her family lived behind us for many years and even after our families had moved away they still remained friends.
My son is distraught over her. I don't know how to help him through this. I still am not over losing Timmy a year ago. I found myself crying over him today. Plus all the other dear loved ones that I have lost in the last few months. I am a horrible role model for him right now.
I am doing my what I can to be here for him. To allow him to express himself however he needs to. So far lots of hugs and video games....Honestly I think the hugs part is helping me, also. I just want him to be ok. I don't want him to feel what I have been feeling for so long now.
Shianne Sparrow took her own life yesterday. My son had been friends with this beautiful young lady most of his life. I remember them playing in the back yard when they were younger. Her family lived behind us for many years and even after our families had moved away they still remained friends.
My son is distraught over her. I don't know how to help him through this. I still am not over losing Timmy a year ago. I found myself crying over him today. Plus all the other dear loved ones that I have lost in the last few months. I am a horrible role model for him right now.
I am doing my what I can to be here for him. To allow him to express himself however he needs to. So far lots of hugs and video games....Honestly I think the hugs part is helping me, also. I just want him to be ok. I don't want him to feel what I have been feeling for so long now.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Cancer Sucks
Our family has had a great loss this week. One of our dear friends has lost his battle with Lung Cancer. He was more than just a friend he was family. He has been battling the beast for several years and it had gotten really bad the last couple of months. The worst part is that the person that should have been by his side helping through walked away a week or so before Christmas.....claiming she could not handle it anymore. She just left him to fend for himself in his darkest hours. He would have NEVER done that to her! Now his gone.....
My heart is aching for the tragedy of it all. I am faced with the fact that I am extremely fortunate to have the Love of My Life as my biggest advocate. When I was at my weakest he held me up and kept me going. I would have never survived without him. Cancer is the scariest and hardest thing anyone will ever have to go through and with out someone to be there to help you its unimaginable.
Thank you Sweetie for being my everything! Danny you will be missed....I am sorry you did not have the same kind of support I had, you deserved better.
My heart is aching for the tragedy of it all. I am faced with the fact that I am extremely fortunate to have the Love of My Life as my biggest advocate. When I was at my weakest he held me up and kept me going. I would have never survived without him. Cancer is the scariest and hardest thing anyone will ever have to go through and with out someone to be there to help you its unimaginable.
Thank you Sweetie for being my everything! Danny you will be missed....I am sorry you did not have the same kind of support I had, you deserved better.
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