Time slips away

I always say I am going to take some me time......blogging is me time but it never seems to be me time.

Well I have a few minutes so I am making it ME TIME!

I don't even remember when or what I blogged about last?  So I will go with what is on my mind right now and you will have to deal with it.

My last appointment with Dr. S went great. He is keeping me on my super med that makes me not as blue and helps with the hot flashes:) I don't know what I'd do if I were not taking them....I still have more blue days than I'd like to admit but not nearly as deep a blue as before. I take each day as it comes. I thought the further out and the closer I got to the 5 yr point I wouldn't still feel this way....I am so afraid of the beast coming back again. Even when you beat it your life is still never the same. I just can't get past this point yet. I will keep working on it.

Lots of changes at work.....some I like, some I do not but all in all I love change... so I will make the best of it. I wish I could change a few people that I work with but that is not realistic. I am good at my job and would be even better if I didn't have to deal with bi-polar shit from those around me. Like me, hate me, whatever just let me do my job and leave me alone. If you are always on my back giving me shit I'm not going to do my job well.....that is just how it is.

 I am sick of fucked up ass holes that want to take their bullshit out on me.I would love to be one of those bitches that just dished right back out at them but I am not. I do my best to treat people the way I want to be treated. I keep getting told to just blow it off, what they think doesn't mean shit.....but it does to me and I have no idea why it does. I don't like it when someone is pissed at me. I take it so damn personal. I have been through so much in my life up would think I would be immune to this shit by now.....or is it because I have been through so much I am like this? Who the hell knows.

I am stressing over money as usual....My Baby Girl has decided not to get a job, yet still wants to do all the expensive shit that goes along with being a senior in high school. I don't know what to do with her. She knows she is a spoiled brat. I didn't until resently, lol. I always have done my best to make sure she had a better life than I did.....I did not realize I was making her a spoiled brat. And yes I admit I am to blame. I may not admit to saying that later. I have done with out to make sure she had what she needed/wanted. I do the same for my son. Why didn't I see what I was doing.

Enough me time for now.....maybe I will try to make some me time again tomorrow or the next day...maybe